Justin Morneau (uselless tidbit: he wears No. 33 in honor of hockey goalie Patrick Roy) was the last man added to the Derby field and a bit of a hesitant participant. Last year, he questioned whether the ’07 Derby might have screwed up his swing in the second half, as he only hit seven homers after the break.

Well, who knows if Morneau will pay the price for what happens tonight, but, at the moment, he must be happy with his decision to participate. Following the trend of the night, he got stronger as his round progressed. He hit four in a row with seven outs and five homers on six swings. He also went deep with the Gold Ball, just clearing the right-field wall with nine outs.

All in all, it was an eight spot for Morneau, so he jumps into a first-place tie.

Berkman — 8
Morneau — 8
Uggla — 6
Sizemore — 6
Utley — 5
Longoria — 3

Next up: Braun

On a night geared toward hitters, one of the biggest roars thus far goes to a pitcher. Mariano Rivera was interviewed on the jumbotron between Berkman and Morneau at-bats, and the crowd broke out a “Mar-i-a-no!” chant.

After another ESPN-induced breather, Lance Berkman (useless tidbit: his nickname is “The Big Puma”) comes up to the plate and puts on a show.

Berkman’s a switch-hitter, and he had hinted that he might bat from the right side in the Derby. This was a controversial idea, right up there with Madonna’s “Justify My Love” video (OK, maybe not).

Apparently, Berkman wised up and decided to go lefty. He took his time getting into the swing of things, but he really came alive one homer and six outs into his round. He hit three straight with six outs — a squeaker to right-center, a liner to right and an upper deck shot to right. Two outs later, he struck again with a liner to right. But he really got going with nine outs — back-to-back upper deck blasts and a deep fly into the black batter’s eye beyond the center-field wall.

We have a new leader.

Berkman — 8
Uggla — 6
Sizemore — 6
Utley — 5
Longoria — 3

Next up: Morneau.

The aforementioned loud, drunk Irish guys from the 4 train who picked Chase Utley (useless tidbit: he drives a hybrid and is an animal lover) might have been off in their pre-Derby prediction. It took Utley a little while to get in the groove, and he’s now third on the totem pole.

Utley squeaked out a couple early line-drive homers to right and a pair of wall-scrapers with eight outs. With nine outs, he eschewed the line drives and went upper deck in right.

Other than that, the only big cheer during Utley’s round came when some little kid made a running catch of his seventh out.

I don’t think Utley’s five-spot will stand the test of time, but we’ll see.

Uggla — 6
Sizemore — 6
Utley — 5
Longoria — 3

After another all-too-necessary commercial break, we jump back into the action with Rookie of the Year candidate Evan Longoria (useless tidbit: has never seen “Desperate Housewives).

Ah, some rookie moments here. Longoria looked a little too eager to please. His pitch selection was poor, even drawing a boo or two from the Yankee faithful. But he did deliver a shot to right-center field with one out, and back-to-back blasts with seven out (including a 446-foot homer to the upper deck in left).

Hey, kid, you gave it a shot.

Three batters in, it’s…

Uggla — 6
Sizemore — 6
Longoria — 3

In discussing Sizemore’s first round, ESPN’s Chris Berman said, “Well, he told us he’s a fan of the Doors, and a couple of those homers were of the ‘Light My Fire’ variety!”

That’s why he makes the big bucks, folks.

Next up is Grady Sizemore (useless tidbit: his first car was a Chevy Blazer; his current car is a 1966 Lincoln Convertible). Sizemore’s pitcher is Tribe bench coach Jeff Datz, who might be the first side-armer in Derby history.

Sizemore certainly followed Uggla’s lead. He also turned his first two swings into homers — a majestic blast into the right-center field bleachers and a towering shot into the upper deck in right. After a couple outs, Grady went upper deck again. Three outs and two shots to right later, he was approaching Uggla territory. He equaled Uggla’s opening-round mark with eight outs, lifting one out to left. Alas, when the Gold Ball came out with nine outs, Sizemore’s liner to right hooked foul.

So Uggla and Sizemore both have six. Clearly, the ball is jumping out of the House that Ruth Built tonight.

The Marlins’ Dan Uggla (useless tidbit: his last name means “owl” in Swedish) got us off to a rip-roaring start. Uggla’s first two swings resulted in home runs. After three quick outs, he knocked out two more — both to the left-field seats. Five outs later, he struck again with another deep fly to left, about a dozen rows back. With nine outs, he sent a State Farm “Gold Ball” out to left, so that means a $17,000 donation to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

I’ve added this all up, and that’s six first-round homers for Uggla. Who’s the dummy who said a left-handed hitter would probably win this thing?

Too much excitement. ESPN had to go to a commercial break. Granted, that was a whirlwind. They introduced eight guys to the crowd and had a short interview with Derek Jeter. Yes, we all need a breather after that.

So, in summation, the Derby began 20 minutes ago, yet we’ve yet to see a single swing. Ah, but here comes Uggla…

3 Doors Down just kicked off the festivities by performing two songs — “Superman” and “It’s Not My Time.” I’m not sure anybody really noticed.

Let’s get this thing started, shall we?